Wedding rings are a widely recognized universal symbol for a couple’s commitment to love. The circular shape signifies no end, symbolizing the life-long commitment intended for marriage. Since the legalization of gay marriage, same-sex couples are saying “I do” all across the nation.
For many couples the journey toward marriage starts with the iconic never-ending circle of a ring. With no gay marriage blueprint, LGBT couples often ponder over what traditions; if any, they should adopt when wearing their round symbols of love. Is there really such a thing as gay wedding rings? The best decision is to select the wedding rings that appeal to you and your partner the most.
Who Pops the Question?
The question of who proposes to whom is common for same-sex wedding proposals, and just about as annoying as the question “Who’s the man and who’s the woman?” Simply stated, there is no right or wrong answer to this question because the circumstances of each relationship is different. The partner that is more financially independent or the partner that is the least afraid of rejection can opt to propose first. The answers are not set in stone, each couple can go with the option that feels the best for them.
Engagement ring, Wedding band or Both?
The decision to purchase an engagement ring, again, comes down to the preferences of the couple involved. Many women – lesbian, straight, bisexual, or otherwise, have dreamt of an engagement ring and won’t want to give that up. Some same-sex couples decide that both partners will wear a set of rings, while others decide only one partner will wear an engagement ring and both will wear wedding bands. If the two of you only want to purchase one ring for each of you, then consider a pair of rings that can function as both. Use the rings for the engagement and then reuse them for the wedding ceremony.
Do We Have to Get Matching Wedding Rings?
Matching wedding rings for same-sex couples is no more mandatory than it is for a heterosexual couple. It is all a matter of personal preference. Each person should get a ring that they love and want to wear, a ring that showcases their individuality, unique style and tastes. However if the two of you are mesmerized by the same ring go for it! You probably don’t get married unless you have at least some common tastes, so it shouldn’t be surprise if you like the same ring.
Which Hand and Finger Do We Wear our Rings on?
Gay and lesbian couples have been seen displaying their wedding rings in a number of ways including:
- Adopting the traditional way with ring worn on left hand ring finger;
- Wear the ring on the right hand ring finger;
- Showcase rings on any matching non-ring finger.
Most couples report wearing their rings on the left hand ring finger. The option that feels right to you and your partner should be the one that dictates on what hand and finger you wear your wedding ring.
What Metal Should our Wedding Rings Be Made Of?
Your wedding band should be made of the metal that you are most drawn to, after all you’ll be wearing it for life. With that said, the most important thing to consider is investing in a metal that is durable and long-lasting. Gold is the most widely chosen wedding band metal, and platinum is the luxury upgrade. For couples on a budget that don’t want to sacrifice quality consider a sturdy alternative metal solution such as tungsten, cobalt or steel. Proper care and long-term treatment will aid with prolonging the life of the rings. Above all, consider your lifestyle and if you know of any metal allergies when making your decision.
Should We Shop Together?
If you and your partner have already discussed the style of the rings you’d both prefer than a surprise proposal might be the perfect route to take. However if you are unsure about ring preference then shopping together could be the best option. For some people, a discreet shopping experience might be important when looking for gay wedding rings. Consider the convenience of shopping online from your own home if this is the case. If it is important to have a more hands on approach, then start by visiting your local jewelry stores and outlets, and then check online for the best prices.
How Long Before the Proposal or Wedding Ceremony Should We Shop For Rings?
When planning a proposal, the most important things to have are the ring and the person to which you are proposing. If either of those two things are missing, hold off on making specific plans until you’ve got them both locked down. On average it can take a jeweler anywhere from one to six weeks to customize wedding rings. If you and your partner have selected a wedding date, be sure to allocate enough time for ordering and receiving in a timely manner.
How Do I Find Out my Partner’s Ring Size?
If you’d prefer to surprise your partner by popping the question you could always have the ring customized and modified to fit later. There are several sneaky tactics for figuring out ring size, including measuring their ring finger while they sleep, trying a ring on your own finger and marking where it fits you or have their bestie take them engagement/wedding ring shopping for fun and then report their findings back to you.
You can also use a ring size chart. The most accurate way to find out your loved one’s ring size is to have a jeweler measure their finger. Keep in mind that wedding rings are worn everyday so the fit should be comfortable, not too snug or too big.
How Much Should We Budget For?
There will be a number of factors to consider when coming up with a suitable budget. Some say an engagement ring should cost three months’ salary, but that’s not written in stone. For an engagement ring, you have to balance what makes sense for your financially with the symbol of investment in your relationship that you want to show. When speaking about wedding bands, the budget is usually considered as part of the entire expense of the wedding, and it will be important to figure out the most important details to you and your partner before settling in on a budget for the jewelry. If you have a number to work with, shop around online to get an idea of rings that fit within your price range. If you find that your mate would prefer a pricier option consider adjusting the budget and snagging a side job or looking into financing to pay for the purchase.
Do We Have to Purchase Rings?
Although traditionally we have grown up in a society that recognizes wedding rings as the symbol of eternal love, you can opt to adopt a different piece of jewelry. If an ankle/wrist bracelet suites your personalities better then go for it. Or perhaps a necklace or a toe ring would be more effective. We aren’t redefining marriage, but that doesn’t mean we have to stick to the same traditions as our parents.
Final Thoughts
The reality is that there is no right or wrong way to go about buying wedding rings. Just as the only thing that makes a wedding a ‘gay wedding’ is that there is a same-sex couple walking down the aisle, the only thing that makes wedding rings ‘gay wedding rings’ is that they are worn on the hands of a same-sex couple. Do as much research as you can and discuss the possibilities with your partner. Most importantly, though, have fun! Proposals and wedding planning can be stressful. Hopefully this guide helps to eliminate some of the unnecessary apprehension and anxiety.
